Don’t let comparisons sabotage your success
By Aytekin Tank, Fast Company
Warren Buffett, chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, once said: “The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an inner score card or an outer score card. It helps if you can be satisfied with an inner score card.”
Buffet’s insight highlights the importance of relying on an inner score card because an external one — measuring yourself against others — can be detrimental to personal and professional growth.
For starters, comparison can lead to a vicious cycle of depression. Research shows that individuals with depressive symptoms tend to engage in “upward” comparison more on platforms like Instagram, which in turn exacerbates depressive symptoms. What’s more, focusing on others’ external measures of success — like subscribers, followers or employee head-counts — can derail you from your true goals.
As a business owner for nearly two decades, I understand the temptation to compare myself to colleagues and competitors. With the rise of social media, the risk of harmful comparisons has only increased. Here’s how entrepreneurs can transform the tendency to compare into a valuable tool for self-improvement and stay on track toward their inner goals.
Set flexible personal milestones
When I scroll X and see another post sharing some “personal news,” it’s hard to avoid feeling a twinge of envy sometimes. My instinct is to close the app immediately and try to focus on something else. But what if instead of avoiding those feelings of jealousy and resentment, we faced them head-on?
That’s what Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy of the @lizandmollie Instagram account recommend: paying attention to your strongest envy triggers and understanding why they make you feel like you’re not measuring up. The TED contributors recommend asking yourself if you truly want what someone else has, and if so, is it worth taking action to get it for yourself?
I find this a helpful starting point for identifying what I’m envious of and clarifying my goals. Maybe you’ll realize that you don’t want what someone else has, considering the sacrifices or trade-offs required to get there. Or maybe you’ll decide you do — then you can focus your energy on setting attainable goals. Rather than establishing a strict timeline that has worked for others, you can set goals without dates to avoid added comparisons. Or if you do set deadlines, make sure they’re based on your unique circumstances.
Practice gratitude daily
I once heard a story about a man attempting to climb one of the world’s highest peaks. Asked about how he maintained his motivation despite immense physical and mental challenges, he recalled looking up the mountain and being overwhelmed by how much farther he had to climb — then reminding himself to gaze backward and remember how far he’d already come.
When I find myself feeling overwhelmed by all of the milestones that I’d still like to achieve with my business, I think about his story and force myself to pause and consider how far I’ve come — from one employee (me) to over 660 around the globe, and most importantly, still serving my original purpose of automating busywork and making users’ lives easier.
Then I commit my gratitude list to paper. Research has shown that even a brief gratitude writing exercise can decrease stress and boost your mood. It can also help you to reappraise events or circumstances in a more positive light.
So when your cup appears half empty, try to consider the progress you’ve already made. Then, grab a pen or pull up your favorite note taking app, and list what you’re grateful for in your personal and professional life. With each item, you’ll fill your cup that much more.
Limit exposure to competitor analysis
There’s only so much mental gymnastics an individual can do to control how envy triggers affect them. At a certain point, it becomes taxing to run-through personal goals and gratitude lists each time someone else’s achievement pops up on your screen. That’s why I also recommend using digital tools to decrease exposure to comparison triggers and automate your peace of mind.
For starters, avoid setting alerts about what your competitors are doing and instead, dedicate a limited amount of time for analysis in strategy meetings. Screen time trackers are a great way to automatically keep tabs on your time spent on various social media platforms. If you notice your numbers spiking, you can correct the course. Or, if your usage starts to feel compulsive — if you can’t help mindlessly scrolling whenever you have a moment of downtime — consider downloading one of the various apps that block social media use after reaching a certain time limit each day. Many of them even have customizable blocking options — for example, if you need to post or communicate with clients at certain times, you can schedule your time usage during those windows.
In today’s world of nonstop comparison and digital distractions, cultivating an inner score card can be the key to staying focused on what truly matters — your unique goals and progress.
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